从不存在

我爱 我盼

只可惜你不在

我爱上的从来只是幻影

从不存在

我爱 我盼

只怕心已不在

说好彼此要真心对待

说过的话变成了负债

不能向你讨的爱

我怎能锁在心上

说好彼此要真心对待

已经证明撞上了冰山

不能为你留的爱

我最好 忘得痛快

JLJJ

Kill me.

I'm still so bereaved.
I know what's gone is gone.
But I can't find a way to live happily.
Sometimes I think I am a complicated person who I don't even understand myself.
Why am I still so grief-stricken?
Not only because of my dad but also this very person.
I found out that I've lost my smile. I don't really smile from my heart even since then.
I guess, the only happiness I have now is my little love, Shiko my pet dog.
And the Nursing course I appeal I really do hope I can be approved.

Friends of mine are all getting married and having babies.
Kind of envious. Then it suddenly struck me. 10-10-10.
It this possible in the first place. I'm starting to think of it so much.
And I come out with a "impossible." although I really wish it can be possible.
All the pieces I gathered and stick up has too many skepticism. So many doubts.
Like, why is there always excuses for not meeting up? How can it be this and that.
He leave too much puzzle for me to solve. All most all are unsolvable. Even if it can be solved there's still too many confusions.

I feel that was to hide something from me. And thus leaving me guessing this and that.
I got tired out. Maybe you might think why hasn't I get over this yet.
To be honest, though lots of mysteries he's the one who make me feel so wanna settle down. And bingo, I still misses him and I want to solve all the puzzles!
But on the other hand, I kept reminding myself not to.

See that is why I say I think I am a complicated person. Gahh.

Let it go please and forget about it.